Crazy Characters that Make Our Gym Workouts Interesting!

I have been working out and working in gyms for the past 20 years. I’ve noticed over this time that it doesn’t matter what city you reside in – all gyms have these characters. This fun post is not meant to criticize but rather to celebrate the diversity of our gym members. I could sometimes be labelled as #3 and #31. I’m sure you might fall into one of the categories as well.  Let’s face it – working out would be boring if we didn’t have these gym characters working out alongside us!

1. Sweat Angel: think of a snow angel but transfer that to the workout mat. This person leaves their sweaty outline on the mat for the next member to view in disgust and astonishment.
2. Sweaty Person: every one sweats when they work out but this person has a little extra ‘oomph’ in their sweat glands leading staff to follow them around with yellow ‘Caution – Wet Floor’ signs.
3. Smelly Person: everyone smells after they sweat but this person has a little extra ‘oomph’ in their body odor. Unfortunately they are oblivious to their own ‘brand’.
4. Same Shirt Wearer: could be the same person as #3. They love their workout shirt even though it has permanent sweat stains and frayed edges.
5. Cologne/Perfume Person: could be an attempt to avoid being labelled a ‘smelly person’ or trying to attract a ‘workout partner’ this member goes a little overboard on scent. May also show #27 tendencies.
6. Barefoot Person: doesn’t care that the floor is dirty/wet/cold – insists on working out barefoot or in socks.
7. The Grunter: do I have to explain this one? Hey a little grunting is ok but this person wants everyone in the gym to know how strong they are by grunting as loud as possible.
8. The Slammer: another loud person likes to ‘slam’ the weights down as loud as possible, once again, showing the world how strong they are.
9. The Talker: an extremely outgoing person who you sometimes wonder if they even exercise or are just there to chat.
10. The Talker V2.0: spends most of the workout taking on their cell oblivious to the fact that others are annoyed at hearing a loud one way conversation.
11. The Gum Chewer: … you get it.
12. The Jeweller: wears excessive amounts of jewellery during workouts approaching levels not seen since Mr.T.
13. Lots of Make-up Person: might be heading out ‘clubbing’ right after the workout which would make sense except that even when you see them working out at 8am they are ‘dolled’ up.
14. The Texter/Emailer: may have excellent endurance in their forearm/hand muscles but don’t expect them to complete a full workout.
15. The Ogler:  stares at others for longer than socially acceptable. A little extra ‘oomph’ in their retinas. They seem to lack the ‘look away when you get caught’ reflex.
16. The Tattoo Aficionado: is the current square inch of tattoo coverage champion. Because the Tattoo Aficionado is visually stimulating it may force surrounding members to approach ‘Ogler’ status as they try and look at the tattoos when the Aficionado looks away.
17. Naked Person: no not naked during the workout! Just most of the time spent in the change room. No attempt is made to cover up the genitals … ever! Unfortunately this person doesn’t usually have a fitness model body.
18. Change Room Tenant: this person showers, shaves, plucks, exfoliates, blow-drys, irons, cuts toenails …you get the picture.
19. Gym Tenant:  does 2-3 workouts per day 7 days a week.
20. Garage Sale Facilitator: leaves weights and fitness equipment scattered across the floor.
21. Loud Listener: might be the same person you hear on the morning commute blasting tunes out their headphones at a ridiculous volume.
22. Singer: could be the same as #21 singing out loud.
23. Muscle Head: no description necessary. Fanny pack optional.
24. Poor Technique Person: usually puts a little extra ‘oomph’ into an exercise. Think of someone doing a bicep curl isolation exercise but putting their WHOLE body into it.
25. Favourite Body Part Person: does one exercise or body part 80% of the time. Therefore that body part tends to be 80% larger proportionately then the rest of the body. Think of the bench press president, the bicep brute, the lunge lover or the ab freak.
26. Germophobe: self explanatory.
27. Mirror Monitor: enjoys seeing their body reflected in different positions and profiles.
28. Pick-Up Artist: trolls the gym floor usually approaching potential dates with ‘how is your workout going?’ quickly escalating questions upwards to ‘could I get your number?’
29. Book Worm: Defying the laws of physics by reading small print ‘War and Peace’ while bouncing up and down on the elliptical or treadmill. This person may also blaze through a few pages in between sets of weights.
30. Inappropriate Dresser: wears jeans when doing squats and leg extensions. May even rock a turtle neck on the treadmill or cowboy boots on the stepper!
31. Supplement Shaker: has three bottles of supplements for pre, during and post workout. Fanny pack optional.
32. Technique Giver: likes to give advice to others regarding training techniques which most appreciate. Weakness lies in the fact that they can’t discern when someone isn’t interested in their Romanian Deadlift procedure.
33. Porcelain Basket Weaver: piles a shit-load (pun intended) of toilet paper on the seat to protect them from other member’s germs (see #26). They don’t clean up their paper project either leaving a mixture of dry and wet toilet paper for the next person to clean up. Yuck!

Have you thought of any characters I missed? Leave a comment but please go easy on them! 😉 If you like the post feel free to press my social buttons 🙂